she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
