You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
