Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
