Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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