why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
