he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
