I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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