how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
