It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
