Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
