Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
