Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
