Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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