my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
