hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
