I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
