I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
