I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
