After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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