LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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