its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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