summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize