He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
