I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
