i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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