dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is the high leading the old right now
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
