i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it's like heaven, but drunker
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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