I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
