I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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