last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
