sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
