i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
