Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
