i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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