im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
