the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
