i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
