My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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