Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
