yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
