I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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