i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
