Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
