A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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