Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
