Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
