"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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