If i come over, it means nothing
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
