So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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