party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
