It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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