i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize