I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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