i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
