First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have post one night stand depression
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