Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
