he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
