obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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