..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
