another moral hangover. fuck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
