No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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