I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
