So drunk its hurt
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
