if only i could text you this smell
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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