I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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