i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
